Awkward

Awkward, there's definitely awkward people, situations and moments. And my life is full of awkward everythings. I think I find myself in some sort of awkwardness at least once everyday, and that's nothing new. Even the word awkward has an awkward spelling, you'd think it'd be spelled "akward" but that's obviously not the way to spell it. And no doubt as I'm writing this post the word awkward is going to look like it's spelled wrong which is just awkward. Now I'm rambling.

But hey its true. Now this isn't a post to trash talk about how awkward things are or how my life sucks because it has awkward moments, far from it. My life doesn't suck and kindly remind me of this if I ever say it does suck.

I think the power that awkwardness has is great. Awkward has the power to thrust you out of your comfort zone and that's not always a bad thing.

Unfortunately I don't take risks, I'm the kind of person that plays it safe, and so when I get out of my comfort zone I freak out and honestly the outcomes are never really bad, of course I'm not talking about getting drunk at a party and everything being fine. That's not who I am. If people know me they know I'm not a party...er. Unless you count parties as being with friends and sitting around talking and joking, eating chips and drinking...soda. That's a great party to me.

But back to the topic. For example my Senior year I took Theatre in college, I was the kid who got sweaty hands from speaking in front of a class, so performing on stage? What was I thinking!? And so I took it and our very first assignment in class was a song and dance performance with a partner. I was freaking out, I love to sing but I have a horrible voice and I don't do it in front of people. But I went on that stage and rocked it. I got an A- on it. It wasn't bad. And I did so much in that class, I did dances, deaths, lip syncs, I wrote a minimusical and also was in it with my group. And it was amazing and I made some great friends and got closer to one of my friends, she's my sister now.

I did an internship in the hospital's ER where at first no one but the nurse I was shadowing talked to me, as you can imagine walking into a room with a naked patient who has blood when they...go ...poo- well that's pretty awkward. During that internship I saw many things and once I got to translate for a patient and had to explain to her that if she was having sexual relations she needed to use protection...I also got to see the Dr. stick his hands up there...or down there depending on how you wanna look at it...moving on...

If you're reading this you're probably feeling kind of awkward. Ever had someone ask you out with a cake in front of the whole class? No? Well it's kinda awkward. I liked the girl as a friend but not as something more, so after like five minutes of silence and everyone staring, I quietly declined. Carrying the cake for the rest of the day was probably my punishment...

And with College there's plenty more opportunities for awkward moments. So I'm looking out for those. Just yesterday in one of my classes this girl and I accidently bumped into each other when we went to grab our backpacks. Yes it was accidental! And we said "sorry" at the same time. Now this isn't really awkward, but I guess it could be, only I'm looking at it as possibly, maybe, "the start of something new", funny how the title of my blog keeps cropping up, maybe it was a damn good title for it.

But my point is never look at awkward moments negatively, something good could totally come of it. Theatre taught me how to be brave, I don't freak out when I present in class anymore and I made some good friends, my internship got my feet wet in the type of career I want, and it only made me more excited. And suppose I had liked the girl who asked me out, that would have been perfect, because I'd never have the guts to bake a cake and ask a girl out in front of a class.

And as for awkward people, you can't really judge them because you're awkward too. We all are, and that's ok. And who knows that awkward person might just be a really great friend. We are all awkward turtles.