This is Halloween

Ah, Halloween. It is finally here...and has passed. I love Halloween, although I rarely ever do stuff on the day of. For me Halloween is just like any other day except with more people in costumes than usual. And I enjoy looking at all the different ones, it's entertaining I love it.

More than anything I love the idea of Halloween. I always wanna watch a movie that is actually terrifying (still looking, so if you know any lemme know!), I love the candy, I love the disguises, I love the terror aspect, and getting in touch with my inner Mexican I love the idea of El Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead). And I love the weather the fallen leaves, the empty trees, its a great setting for horror to happen. I love it all.

I wish I did other things on Halloween. I'm 18, I don't want to trick or treat. But I don't want to go to parties and get high and drunk. I've already gone to Frightmare, so my goal for next year is to find something to do. Something scary even? Let's bring back the terror of Halloween in the scary costumes rather than the "shake my head" worthy costumes and idiots.

Kids used to dress as adorable little monsters. Teens used to dress up as ugly scary monsters. Now they all dress like douche bags and hoes. That's scary alright but not for the right reasons. What are we to do with this world?

Oh also for next year I want to buy a "horror novel" at the beginning of the month and read enough of it so I spend all month reading it.

I want to be scared outta ma pants! But we shall see what happens. I'm kind of sad that I didn't get candy this year. If anyone brings me candy tomorrow or in the coming days I will love them forever. But oh well life goes on. I didn't even watch a horror movie this month! I'm so disappointed in myself! But next year...next year will be epic!

Oh and I am aware that I never finished my Halloween story, that's because I'm reworking on it and who knows when you least expect it, it will pop up! Maybe the next Friday the 13th...now there's an idea...

Anyways Happy Halloween!

Oh and one last thing, how the hell did everyone suddenly get so good at pumpkin carving! People be posting pics of amazing jack o laterns. What the eff! I can barely cut an orange in half! Sorry about that.. last minute vent.

Voting

So yesterday I did something I'd never done before...I...voted. As I'm sure you could guess by the title. I'd been procrastinating a little because it just felt like this mindblowing concept. What? Me voting? I barely graduated from HS a couple of months ago. I can't do that. But I actually could. And it happened. I went up to the area where they were set up and went into the little room. There was no line so I went up to the tables and within minutes I was standing in front of that touch screen.

I read everything like literally ten times. I was nervous. I was scared. This was a big deal. And there was no one around me that I knew. I felt a little alone and I was freaking out. So I took a deep breath and answered the questions. And I stared at it some more before submitting everything.

And then I clicked submit. And it went in. And away. Just. Like. That. It was over, it was done. I had voted. I Scott T. Had voted. And I stared at the screen some more. I guess I don't know maybe part of me expected fireworks. But nope nothing, nada, zip. I went back to the tables and the lady told me "thank you for voting, have a sticker." I took the small sticker and stuck it on the back of my phone and I walked out.

I have voted. It is done. I voted early. It was crazy. Maybe I'm being dumb but I felt like I have done something important and big worthy of fireworks! I don't know but I do think it is important to vote. Be educated and vote. It's really easy and fast. You won't waste too much time and it impacts our future. I know politicians have a knack for being called "corrupt", but someone has to be elected in, so why not vote for the one you think will do the best they can.

It's something to think about that's for sure. And four years from now I'll do it again. I don't plan on becoming active in politics and all that jazz but I will cast my vote for the President of the US for as long as I am able to.

Busy Weekend

So this weekend I had a three day weekend, thank you Nevada! And for the most part I enjoyed it. I went out like every night this weekend except for sunday. It's homework day. ha. But anyways so thursday night was great because I knew there would be no school on friday. So my friend and I went to the school play, Doctor Faustus. It was definitely an interesting experience. It wasnt the best play I've seen or my favorite but it was good none the less. There were flying actors. And the storyline deals with this guy who basically sells his soul to the devil for powers and he's able to conjure up a demon. Anyways some of the costume felt like a "cheap version of Frightmare" as my friend put it. Which bring me to my next thing...

Friday night I went with a group of friends to Frightmare, there were four different "haunted houses". A regular one, a clown one with 3D glasses, a maze and a "black hole". The first one was like a classic haunted house. Not bad. The clown one wasn't bad, there was a clown with a real chainsaw at the end that was pretty cool. The maze was dumb it took us like a minute to go through it and we only had like three people pop out. The black hole was really trippy. It was just going down a hallway of sorts but it was shaking and spinning and we all felt drunk. That I think was my favorite cause we literally stood there for like five minutes just getting dizzy. Oh and we bought a large pizza while in line and ate that pizza up!

Saturday I went to a Quincenera with my family. In the morning we went to church for the ceramony there and it was actually at the church where my parents got married and I ran into a friend! That was nice. Then later we went to the actual party. It was an almost masquerade party, because the birthday girl and her dancers wore masks. It was something different and I appreciated it. I kind of wish we had all been forced to wear masks. I danced half of the night away and I ate a ton. It was generally a good time. I was there from 1pm to 2am. Because we are good friends with the family we helped set up the party and helped clean up afterwards a bit. Needless to say I was exhausted.

And then sunday. Doing homework I neglected. I wonder if I'll ever get things done before sunday. We shall see. Hmmm.

So...

So...Recap.

I know I haven't posted anything in like over a week. There hasn't been too much to say, and I've been kinda busy. So this post will be I guess random and just a recap of what I've been up to.

I've gone to school. I've had a couple of tests, quizzes, skits, and projects due woo! Not. But oh well I did them and I aced my math quiz...it was just one problem but you know what shush. Let me be happy.

I've volunteered for JDRF the walk to cure diabetes. It was amazing and fun! I joined a club called HOSA which explains the volunteering. I also had a group interview for Blockbuster, yes they still exist! Unfortunately I didn't get called back...oh well...There'll be other chances.

I went to my first football night game! And we lost...in the last minute...Every time I go they lose in the last minute by one point! I haven't been to a winning game!

But it was still really fun.

And I'm sure there's a couple of other little things I haven't mentioned but that's all I can remember for now.

I've been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy. I started watching it because of the whole it being a show about doctors, but it really isn't a bad show. It's good. So I'll keep doing that.

Oh! The weather this week should be really nice. It's gonna be cold and cloudy! I love it! (see previous post about rain).

I think it'll be a good week. Hopefully. I plan to go to the school play later this week and Frightmare, more on that later...

I think I've caught you up on what's up with my life so far...

So have a good day! No matter what day it is when you're reading this post! Just have a good one.

And I'll try to post more soon. TBA

Rain

There's something fascinating about rain. There's something amazing and poetic about it. I love it. If every day for the rest of my life was a rainy day I would be happier than a fat kid eating his favorite cake.

In the rain I feel like anything could happen. I'd like to think of myself as a writer and the rain gets my creativity juices flowing, I start imagining scenerios all over the place. I start hoping and wishing and dreaming, and its the good kind ( see my post on hopes, wishes and dreams).

And I think one of the best things about college will be that I can walk to my classes observing the rain and it's beauty, that's also what I loved about my high school, we had to go outside to go to our next classes and I loved those little walks absorbing it all in.

In the rain I can imagine a funeral scene for a character. In the rain I can imagine a reunion between two lovers, I can imagine a fight scene in the rain. A death scene, and introduction to a story, a chase scene. There's so much potential in the rain.

When it rains I'm automatically happy and full of energy. Rainy days are my sunny days. I hate when its hot and sunny -__- but maybe I'll vent about that when its hot and sunny out.

So don't ever underestimate rain. I think there's something magical in the way it comes down and washes everything away, some may view that as an end to what was there before, but thats not a bad thing. Don't forget when some ends, something new begins. That's the power that rain has.

Rain Rain Never Go Away!
And to end this post I'll end it with a little excerpt from a story I'm working on (not to be confused with the Halloween one)

As the rain continued to fall down Amber begged for help. She screamed at the top of her lungs while thunder roared and lightning struck.
 "Please don't die." she begged her dad. "Daddy please.''
Her dad opened his eyes and looked at her. His brown eyes were full of pain.
"Go to the city, find them. Take what belongs to you, and above all be careful, your presence will be a threat to many, my little Amber, you have many enemies. But you have to be strong...you have to..." he whispered and closed his eyes. Amber screamed at the top of her lungs as lightning struck a nearby tree setting it on fire.
And the rain continued falling down more furiously than ever.


And that's all folks!

Awkward

Awkward, there's definitely awkward people, situations and moments. And my life is full of awkward everythings. I think I find myself in some sort of awkwardness at least once everyday, and that's nothing new. Even the word awkward has an awkward spelling, you'd think it'd be spelled "akward" but that's obviously not the way to spell it. And no doubt as I'm writing this post the word awkward is going to look like it's spelled wrong which is just awkward. Now I'm rambling.

But hey its true. Now this isn't a post to trash talk about how awkward things are or how my life sucks because it has awkward moments, far from it. My life doesn't suck and kindly remind me of this if I ever say it does suck.

I think the power that awkwardness has is great. Awkward has the power to thrust you out of your comfort zone and that's not always a bad thing.

Unfortunately I don't take risks, I'm the kind of person that plays it safe, and so when I get out of my comfort zone I freak out and honestly the outcomes are never really bad, of course I'm not talking about getting drunk at a party and everything being fine. That's not who I am. If people know me they know I'm not a party...er. Unless you count parties as being with friends and sitting around talking and joking, eating chips and drinking...soda. That's a great party to me.

But back to the topic. For example my Senior year I took Theatre in college, I was the kid who got sweaty hands from speaking in front of a class, so performing on stage? What was I thinking!? And so I took it and our very first assignment in class was a song and dance performance with a partner. I was freaking out, I love to sing but I have a horrible voice and I don't do it in front of people. But I went on that stage and rocked it. I got an A- on it. It wasn't bad. And I did so much in that class, I did dances, deaths, lip syncs, I wrote a minimusical and also was in it with my group. And it was amazing and I made some great friends and got closer to one of my friends, she's my sister now.

I did an internship in the hospital's ER where at first no one but the nurse I was shadowing talked to me, as you can imagine walking into a room with a naked patient who has blood when they...go ...poo- well that's pretty awkward. During that internship I saw many things and once I got to translate for a patient and had to explain to her that if she was having sexual relations she needed to use protection...I also got to see the Dr. stick his hands up there...or down there depending on how you wanna look at it...moving on...

If you're reading this you're probably feeling kind of awkward. Ever had someone ask you out with a cake in front of the whole class? No? Well it's kinda awkward. I liked the girl as a friend but not as something more, so after like five minutes of silence and everyone staring, I quietly declined. Carrying the cake for the rest of the day was probably my punishment...

And with College there's plenty more opportunities for awkward moments. So I'm looking out for those. Just yesterday in one of my classes this girl and I accidently bumped into each other when we went to grab our backpacks. Yes it was accidental! And we said "sorry" at the same time. Now this isn't really awkward, but I guess it could be, only I'm looking at it as possibly, maybe, "the start of something new", funny how the title of my blog keeps cropping up, maybe it was a damn good title for it.

But my point is never look at awkward moments negatively, something good could totally come of it. Theatre taught me how to be brave, I don't freak out when I present in class anymore and I made some good friends, my internship got my feet wet in the type of career I want, and it only made me more excited. And suppose I had liked the girl who asked me out, that would have been perfect, because I'd never have the guts to bake a cake and ask a girl out in front of a class.

And as for awkward people, you can't really judge them because you're awkward too. We all are, and that's ok. And who knows that awkward person might just be a really great friend. We are all awkward turtles.

Winter is Coming...

Today was the first day I think we truly felt the good ole cold weather of Reno. And I couldn't be happier. I love cold weather it goes along with my cold heart. I freakin' love when it turns to Fall and then the age of Pumpkin Pies and fallen leaves begins. And it is all a prelude to winter. And who doesn't love what that all means. Food, Candy, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Turkey, Family Reunions, Sweater Weather, Snow, Sleeping in bed all nice and cozy, Christmas, Presents and all that fun stuff.

Winter is coming and that doesn't have to be a bad thing as it usually is in Game Of Thrones. I'm not usually an optimist but the cold weather really fuels my blood and gets it pumping. I'm excited and I'm expecting great things from Winter. So next time you go outside and you feel that cold breeze don't complain about it, simply smile and think of the great things to come. It seems like this year has been speeding by...2012 is almost over, and only a few short months ago I couldn't believe it had started and I would be graduating HS in 2012. It's crazy how time flies.

And this post isn't much...but look at it as a tease of what's to be discussed in the future ie: actual Winter, the holidays, how time flies etc. There's plenty to discuss and I plan to see this blog to the end...whatever that may mean and discuss everything...about everything. Hmm I think next time I'll talk about....eh you'll just have to stay tuned to read what I'll talk about next time.

And with that...

 

 

I think everyone recognizes that picture. It's like a Fall classic. And very poetic. Hmm maybe that'll be the next topic! Poetry!

 

 

The Weekend Project

Yeaaa ^^^ the title hints at something cool and exciting. That is not the case unfortunately. If you were expecting some exciting story of how I went to a party and met the love of my life and went on an adventure...sadly that is not true. Sorry.

So I didn't post anything yesterday because there really wasn't much to say, don't worry I hope to actually do some things in these coming weekends so I'll have something to discuss. But this weekend? In one word...boring.

My weekend consisted of a lot of tv watching, some reading, very little writing and just hanging out with my family. My parents and sister and my dogs. I did homework too. I think the most exciting part was doing my math homework Friday afternoon...and getting a 100% on it. For those of you that don't know I suck at math. Anyways its due today (Sunday) but I did it Friday! Yay!

Now because there's nothing else for me to say, and whatever is going through my thought process will stay there for a little while longer, don't worry I'm sure I'll soon blog about my thoughts, I decided to work on my writing skills a bit. And start a short story. I think I'll make it an ongoing thing, whenever I don't have anything in particular to discuss or say but I want to blog, I'll continue the short story, and if there are any of you that actually follow my blog I'll always maybe include a short summary of the previous installment and then you can just flow right in. Now for an idea of a short story...hmm... Well. It is October! How about a short scary story! I've never really done one before but here goes nothing:

Zoey stared out the window, the leaves on the trees were falling, they were painted in familiar Fall colors. Some of the prettier ones were the darkest reds. It gave off the image of a bleeding tree. Bleeding...blood. Zoey looked down at her hands. They were all dead because of her.
"Zoey? Continue with your story please." the detective whispered and started writing in his notepad. She slowly turned to look at him, tears filled her eyes.
"They're all dead because of me." she whispered.
"Yes, you've said that already. Will you tell me what happened last night?"
"It was supposed to be the perfect night. My birthday...my 18th birthday. A freshman in college, my first 18+ birthday. My friends and I decided that we would have a scary movie marathon at my house, my parents were supposed to be out of town. It was perfect."
"Who were your friends?" he asked her and she took a moment to remember it all.
"My two best friends, Kallie and Becca and my boyfriend Trevor."
"What happened?" he asked again and looked at his watch, impatient. Zoey was his last case for the night. He interviewed her and then he would be allowed to go home. Zoey had called the police at midnight saying that someone had broken into her house and killed everyone inside. When the police got there they had found her out on the front lawn on her knees sobbing covered in blood and a bloody knife in her hand. She had kept saying "he escaped" over and over again. But the lack of evidence seemed to suggest that she had killed her friends and parents. He had looked over her file she was as normal as could be. Never gotten in trouble, straight A student, there seemed to be no reason for her to have suddenly gone crazy and killed them.
Zoey looked out the window again. The sun was setting. And 24 hours before with the sun setting it all began...
The doorbell rang and Zoey ran down the stairs to answer it. Trevor had been fast. He had called her ten minutes ago telling her that he and the girls were waiting for the pizza and then they would go to her house. She smiled, she was so happy.
"That was fast!" she exclaimed as she opened the door. Something came flying and landed at her feet. She looked down and screamed. A dead cat was on her doorstep. She looked around to see who had thrown it. She walked out to her front lawn and looked around the street, no one was around. Her front door slammed closed and she turned around. She walked back inside her house and went to her kitchen.
"Boo!"

To be continued...

Ok a little cheesy. But I'll make it better as it goes. I have the ending planned out already so as long as I can get to it I'll be happy. Any thoughts on the story?

Seeking Jobs

There isn't much wisdom to discuss today I'm afraid, but there is something I figured I'd talk about especially since I spent most of my afternoon doing it...Applying for jobs, oh how it sucks to be in college and not have a job.

I'm gonna be honest, I want money. It sucks being in college and not having money. I know I'm not going to become super rich as soon as I get a job, but I live with my parents, and I feel bad asking for money constantly so I avoid it as much as I can, and that usually means I'm broke.

So a job would be nice I'd have some cash, and because I wouldn't have to pay any major bills it'd be great. I could go out and by myself lunch, or go out with friends without having to wait to get money from my parents.

Another reason I would like a job is simply so I can say I go to school and have a job. There are two different kinds of friends you can have when it comes to jobs. The ones who love complaining about how they work and have school and blah blah blah, they get really annoying...Fast. Because for anything they'll bring up their job and basically say you are nothing because you don't work. Get over yourself people.

Then you have the friends that do work, but they don't complain about it. It's just another part of their life. I like those people. Don't get me wrong, it's fine to complain about your job and all but please if you're going to have conversations with me don't make 80% of them about your job or something related to your job.

So I want a job, and I spent most of the afternoon applying to them. And I hope I get called back or something. And hey this would be a plus for my friends and family because I'd go all out and buy everyone presents for the holidays! Woo!

And while we are on the topic of jobs can I just say I don't understand how some people even get jobs in the first place? Oh well there will always be those people that you can't but "wtf" at how good their lives are yet how dumb or crappy people they are. Well that was mean of me. Oh well. Admit it you all think it too.

Dreams, Hopes and Wishes

Today, I am much better than yesterday. I'm not down anymore! Woo! Well let's get on with this post, I wanted to write about it today because its something important to me and I think about it a lot. And it came up again, and while I guess it may be a little pessimistic I don't mean it in that way at all. It's just food for thought.

Dreams. We all have dreams right? I don't necessarily mean going to bed at night and dreaming. I mean more like day dreams or imagining scenerios, having hope. "If I were to win the lottery I would buy my parents a mansion, I would make sure all my schooling and my sister's was paid". "I hope the girl(or guy depending on who you are) I ask out says yes...and then we'll be a couple." "I want you to be my significant other", "I wish she'd/he'd notice me...", "Maybe I have a chance..." All these scenerios, is it right to dream about them? To hope? To wish? Is all that a good thing or a bad thing? Is it harmful to us?

What are the odds of winning the lottery? What are the odds of you ending up happily ever after with the person you currently can't get out of your mind? I don't mean this as a negative thing, I'm just curious. I make up scenes in my head all the time, and when they don't happen, it well sucks. It hurts even. So is it a good thing to spend all that time imagining something that isn't true? We waste a lot of time with that. And it sucks.

But I personally do love daydreaming and creating these hopes and wishes. It's fun, it gets me out of the boring moments in life. It's nice to imagine a life where everything that could go right for you does, who wouldn't want that? We as human beings I believe should never give up on hope. Hope is something important in our lives, I think we don't realize how lost we would be without it...Although I won't go more into that because I wanna save the discussion of hope for another day :p .

But anyways, thoughts? Is it bad? Is it a good thing? I'll keep on daydreaming, that's for sure. But I don't know, it does suck when it doesn't happen. But hey when they say be careful what you wish for, why does that always have to be a bad thing? What if we are careful what we wish for, and we wish for something good and that good thing does happen!

That I think is enough to keep me going.

One of Those Days...

Ever have just one of those days?  Or in my case couple of days. You know the ones I'm talking about it. Those days where you just can't help but have yourself a pity party. You're just down about everything and it sucks because there really is nothing to be down about. But as the French say, C'est la vie. (That's life).

So what do I do when it's one of those days...? Well because I lack the energy to really do anything I start listening to music. And thinking. A lot. Too much perhaps. This mood kind of set in last night and it's still going strong. So I procrastinated my homework although before I started writing this I did finish it. I'm down but that doesn't mean I'll give up on school. I just put it off.

Why am I down? Or what triggered it? I'm not even sure. It just washes over me and I wish I could sleep...for a lot. I will most definitely go to bed early tonight. I like sleep. Why is it when we overthink it never turns out good? Why don't we overthink positive things or hopeful situations? It's always the bad. And I hate that it's always the bad. Doesn't mean I'll stop thinking of the bad, but hey I'm being honest here.

So what do I plan to do for these type of days? Well for one thing I'll let it pass. Just let it play its course. And hopefully tomorrow or even later today becomes better. But while I'm overthinking everything, I'm planning something. The Start of Something New. That's the name of this blog and my post, and it's time I followed my own advice right? While planning I'm making myself a promise of something good. If I'm down and I have reasons that make me feel bad, I'll change them. I'll do something different.

There's plenty I want to change about myself, personality and appearance wise and all that jazz. And while I'm not talking about swapping bodies or surgery or any of that stuff, I mean more subtle things. I want to be more open, and friendly, although I think I'm friendly! It's just only the people that know me...know that. I want to make more friends, and I need a healthier life haha.

I'm going to do these little changes so next time when it's one of those days I can tell my inner self to shut up because I've changed what normally gets me down.

I will crush days like this! I will be confident in making these changes and be victorious!

There's me being optimistic again, but hey, why not? It's always darkest before the dawn.

Sick

Sick. I hate being sick. I never even know how it happens,but happens it does. Oh how I hate it. One day I'm fine, the next I wake up with a sore throat. Later the nose gets stuffed and then it's runny. I take nyquil and dayquil and all that jazz but it never seems to work. So I have to wait it out and hope it doesn't cause some embarrassing situations last thing I need is to have social suicide all because of a cold!

Illness

I was sleeping safe and sound in bed...
 You crept into my room...
   You looked for me....
    And found me....
     You crawled in bed with me...
      And before I knew it you devoured me...
       I woke up and you were a part of me...
        I was helpless....I was angry...I was sick.

Future

Future, that little word is kinda scary, at least to me. The future is really overwhelming to say the least and I don't necessarily mean future as in robots taking the world or even a zombie apocalypse. Although yes I think about that too. And I have my little hideouts planned if that ever should happen. I plan to be safe and alive!

But that's not what I mean by future. See with me I've always wanted to be a doctor. For as long as I can remember. Why? Because growing up I've witnessed my grandparents spend more time in the ER than anyone should ever have to. I felt helpless to say the least. I love my grandparents and when I was younger I used to spend more time in their house than my own. For years I have watched my grandpa take six pills in the morning and four in the afternoon. I generally want to help people in any way I can, so combine that with what I've seen and soon as a young kid I wanted to be a doctor. I always worked hard in school and always tried. I maintained really good grades, my Senior year in high school I did an internship in the ER. I've been trying to do what I can.

And now I'm in college. And it's scary, because no longer is the future some far away dream. It's here. I have to get my butt in gear and do everything I can if I want to be a doctor. And I've only been in college for like six weeks but already its intimidating and frustrating. I'd like to think of myself as someone smarter than the average 18 year old. But the truth is (and especially in college) there are thousands of other people way smarter than you. I feel dumb compared to them.

How can I compete with these geniuses? Already I feel like I'm not good enough. And the fact that I do really well in the subjects that don't necessarily matter for what career I want is frustrating. So all I can do other than feeling sorry for myself is push to the next level. Study even more. Work harder. Try and in the end (hopefully) triumph. Some days its depressing because I feel like I will have no chance in hell of getting to where I want to be in life. And others I feel really optimistic and feel like kicking my obstacles in the gonads.

So the future. It's scary. I'm scared. I'm scared I'll fail or I won't be good enough. But I really want to help people, I want to save lives and if I have to not see the light of day for the next ten years to achieve it I will most definitely do it. (I'll just keep plenty of books around for my enjoyment, and food). I will be a doctor damn it! I'm determined to do it. But its always nice to once in a while be able to write down my thoughts and doubts. Can I do it?

My heart says I can. My brain says, "try you must".

And once I'm a doctor I can be that one doctor to rule them all. Ohh yes a world where I rule. Now that's quite the future.